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This shirt is for all the strong personalities who prefer to invest their social energy in precisely crafted sarcastic replies rather than shallow conversation. 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data-start=\"281\"\u003eBecause evolution probably looked at proteins, anxiety disorders, and electricity and said:\u003cbr\u003e“Yes. Fits like this. Ship it.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"461\" data-start=\"409\"\u003eMinimal on the front.\u003cbr\u003eThe real error message is on the back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdetails open=\"\"\u003e\n\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✨ Why this hoodie is your new home\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMetallic blue DNA print on the back\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eATCG sequence for maximum “trust me bro, it’s science” energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSTATUS: ONLINE, because your brain never really shuts down anyway\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClean front, slight system error on the back\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFeels like a sturdy hug from a very overworked operating system\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/details\u003e\n\u003cdetails open=\"\"\u003e\n\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e📋 Tech Specs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavy Blend fabric (271.25 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e50% pre-shrunk cotton \/ 50% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-lined hood with drawstring\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLarge front pocket for hands, snacks, or existential problems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eQuarter turned to avoid center creases\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP-certified\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSize chart (in cm):\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS: 68.6 x 50.8 | M: 71.1 x 55.9 | L: 73.7 x 61 | XL: 76.2 x 66 | 2XL: 78.7 x 71.1 | 3XL: 81.3 x 76.2 | 4XL: 83.8 x 81.3 | 5XL: 86.4 x 86.4\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eNote: Deviations up to 5 cm possible.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/details\u003e\n\u003cdetails\u003e\n\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🧵 Care \u0026 Shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eCare instructions:\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C. 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